


Assuredly

by singingsweet



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Angst and Feels, Because what would have happened if they'd spoken at the same time?, F/M, I'm sorry yall /:, TFW you thought it was fine but then it's actually kinda sad, a what if AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29044740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingsweet/pseuds/singingsweet
Summary: One must declare it. They ought, but what was to happen when your heart's desire thought to speak at the same time as you?In which Pen takes a leap of faith and Colin is utterly confused.
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 20
Kudos: 172





	Assuredly

**Author's Note:**

> Dipping my toes into the Bridgerton fandom because, really, I couldn't stay away. My best friend cackled at me when I told her I was writing fic again, as was her birth right. I love these idiots so much.
> 
> Enjoy the read!

Yellow was a difficult color to miss in contrast to the blue flowers and cream dresses and black jackets that populated the dance, most definitely a difficult color to miss when paired with the red of her hair. Colin wasn’t quite certain if he had truly missed her twirling about the floor, but he couldn’t fathom why she might find the need to feed him such a fib, but it was no matter. As he hadn’t been able to catch a moment alone with her at the house, he felt that now was as good as any other to apologize. _Dear Pen._ She truly was the best of friends to have attempted to warn him of her cousin’s situation as much as she could. Since it was revealed, he had been able to connect what she had confided in him, how she had acted around them, and he’d felt the worst of fools. He believed he could be forgiven for having not been keen enough to even guess at Miss Thompson’s situation, but what a poor companion was he to not have faith in Penelope’s words? As she was so reserved, should that have not been more cause for him to take more heed? He had been callous in his treatment of her, and yet here she was before him, defending him onto himself. It _had_ been an incredible position to believe himself in love with someone. He had never before felt such an attraction to another and had it returned in kind, but it had been a ruse, had it not? Yet, Penelope defended him. She had defended him and reminded him of what his true wants in life were. Colin heard her as she said that she wanted to tell him something, but he felt a welling inside of himself, a need to tell her the good news.

“I am leaving.”

_“I think the world of you.”_

The words had spilled forth, swept away as she was in her determined belief to declare herself only to have her words and his collide between them. _He was leaving._ Images of all those times he’d left before passed over her eyes like spectres, promising to haunt her once more. Her gaze dropped to her clasped hands clad in silk. She was a lady of age, out in society, and near shaking with the effort it took to remain composed. It simply would not do for Colin’s last glimpse of her to be one of distress. Lifting her head in defiance of her gnawing embarrassment and ignoring the dumbstruck look upon his face - for, truly, it was quite brazen to say such a thing - she did her best to smile before wishing him luck on his travels and hastening away. He knew now. It had been uncomfortable to be sure and she was utterly crushed, but she had been faithful to her feelings for the very first time. Darling Eloise had interrupted her escape for a moment, but she was still able to retain her mask as she slipped away from the crowd. _He was leaving._ Her sweet, handsome, _good_ Colin Bridgerton was leaving. She brushed that thought away as she brushed away the tear that raced over her cheek. He wasn’t hers and never would be. Besides, she thought with a trembling sigh as she made her way to the carriages, she really ought to be used to his leaving by now, shouldn’t she? She ought to be, but the thought of him once more removed from her was another cut into her whittled down heart.

_"Pen!”_

She had not heard his approach behind her and all but recoiled at his touch to her hand. Colin held her wrist securely, not intent on allowing her to spirit away from him again, but gentled as she turned back to face him. He had seen her blush many times before this, but the red around her eyes was an unwelcome sight to him. Had those past blushes been due to her quiet affection for him? He could not be sure, was not certain of anything anymore. Over all these years - his travel, his family - he could rely on Penelope. What had changed now?

“Pen - ”

“Colin -” She gave his hand a squeeze to quiet him before extracting herself from his hold lest someone see them and misconstrue their separation from the crowd. “You needn’t say anything, truly.”

“It couldn’t have been an easy feat.”

“Y - yes, well,” Penelope stammered as her gloved fingers wrestled with one another. “I was of the mind that I should speak before something else should happen and now I have and soon you will have your tour of the Mediterranean. Will you be going to Italy or will your focus be Greece?”

“I am sure I will see both, but are you - are _we_ alright, Pen?” Colin tilted his head hoping to catch her gaze, to understand for himself what was now between them.

“How could we not be?”

“...Then you’ll allow me to write to you?” Colin asked, unsure of what he saw in the blue of her eyes as it was a look he had never seen before. 

Her smile seemed genuine, and he felt himself relax. “Of course. We are friends, after all.”

“I will never stop being your friend, you do know that, do you not?” He reached out a large hand to cover hers as they fidgeted with her dance card.

Penelope nodded her head, her neck straining to remain upright when all she wished for was to fold in on herself and run. “There are some things that needn’t be said, Colin.” 

“Then shall we have our turn on the floor?” He turned back to the ball as he spoke, taking one of her hands in his, but stopped when she did not sway from her spot.

“Do have some fun for the both of us - I was just on my way to the carriages,” Penelope explained, her hand once more slipping from his grasp and Colin couldn’t help but feel that she was slipping away in another manner altogether. 

“You’re to return home?” 

“I am, yes.” She made to curtsey her goodbye, but he only offered her his arm.

“Then allow me to escort you.”

“You are generous to offer, but you mustn’t,” Penelope explained, taking a step away from him. “I fear we have been alone for far too long already.”

His shoulders slumped as his brow furrowed in concern. “But do be careful, won’t you?”

“Only if you promise the same.” She smiled at his nod before turning and taking a breath. “Goodbye, Colin. Be well.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading, I really appreciate your interest - please throw me some kudos or comments to let me know how you liked it! 
> 
> Now, I know that the phrasing of Penelope's confession isn't as dramatic as "I love you" would have been, but I feel that it speaks more directly to the way in which Penelope loves Colin. Plus, in a way, it feels a little more to Penelope's writerly soul to be more descriptive. I also felt that even though they would technically be off to the side where fewer people could hear them, the potential to be overheard at the ball is still there and although "I think the world of you" is still a hugely impactful statement, it wouldn't be AS shocking to overhear as "I love you" at a ball in my opinion?
> 
> As for Colin - yall ever see a character and you just wanna bonk them on the head? That's how I feel about Colin, bless his heart. Up until this point, Colin had only really seen Pen as a family friend, and so he's completely, terribly confused on what's happening, but don't fret, dear reader! He'll get there some day.
> 
> I originally intended this to be a one shot, so I'm not sure if this'll get continued since my writing stamina and time aren't what they used to be, but thank you again for reading!


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